He looked me at said, ” you haven’t changed at all. ”
I know that’s a lie. I did change. I lost myself trying to fit in and blend with the crowd, I lost the way I used to be. I supressed my true self in order to escape the radar of people quick to judge and comment because I thought that was the only way. I lost myself trying to be a better version of me by focusing more on my faults and less on my qualities. I lost myself in the crowd, and not being able to find my way north was what made me realize how deep I was inside this mess.
But then I found my way back. I isolated myself for a while, gave myself some time to reevaluate. I explored my boundaries and what lay inside them, and I found quite a few things that I liked. And instead of focusing on the things that weren’t right, this time I decided to be grateful for the person that I was. I learned to be soft and loving, not just with others but with myself too.
And I found all my quirks and weird ways back. Instead of letting people question them, I decided to hold them close to me, because they were a part of me that gave me an identity. They made me stand out from the crowd, which wasn’t such a bad thing after all. They also reminded me which direction I needed to go, hence keeping me from getting lost again.
So in a way, I hadn’t changed at all. I had found my way back after all.
So I smiled and told him, “You haven’t either,” wondering whether he had gone through the sams road as me.